Archive for September, 2015

GOTHIC BLUE BOOK V to feature “Knitting Away Eternity”

Posted in News on September 22, 2015 by Christian
Gothic Blue Book V: coming 10/31

The first Gothic Blue Book from Burial Day.

Burial Day Books has accepted my short story, “Knitting Away Eternity” for the fifth installment of their popular GOTHIC BLUE BOOK series. Previous entries include the short fiction of writers such as Bram Stoker Award®-winner John Everson, Jay Bonansinga (THE WALKING DEAD: RISE OF THE GOVERNOR), two-time Rhysling Award-winner Bruce Boston, and James Dorr (THE TEARS OF ISIS).

Blue books were popular in the 18th and 19th centuries for those who couldn’t afford a shelf full of novels. Shilling or sixpenny “shockers” were usually summaries or abridged versions of complete gothic novels of the day from popular authors like Horace Walpole, Matthew Lewis, and Ann Radcliffe, but Burial Day’s series collects new, supernatural short stories that feature gothic settings, like monasteries, castles, or cemeteries.

GOTHIC BLUE BOOK V will be available this fall in eBook and paperback formats, and while classic blue books measured 4 x 6, entries from the Burial Day series will be 6 x 9, so you’re getting a little more than your great-great-great-great-great-grandparents did for their sixpence. For more information on the series, visit BurialDay.com, and get ready for the next installment of this creepy series.

Christian A. Larsen is the author of LOSING TOUCH, featuring a foreword by New York Times bestselling author Piers Anthony, now available in paperback and ebook formats from Post Mortem Press.

Pick up signed SHRIEKS & SHIVERS at SinisterCreatureCon

Posted in News on September 14, 2015 by Christian
Now available in paperback and Kindle editions.

Now available in paperback and Kindle editions.

Attention, Northern Californians … if you don’t have SHRIEKS & SHIVERS, the Horror Zine’s latest terrifying anthology edited by Jeani Rector, now’s your change to pick up a signed copy from the editrix herself. Rector will be signing paperback copies of the book at The Sinister Creature Con October 17th and 18th in Sacramento.

Next month, The Sinister Creature Con will bring together artists, filmmakers, actors, writers and horrific celebrities like Kristin Bauer (TRUE BLOOD), Miko Hughes (PET SEMETARY), Patricia Quinn (LORDS OF SALEM), Barry Bostick (THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW), and John Russo, who co-wrote NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD and penned the introduction to SHRIEKS AND SHIVERS, which also features these twisted tales:

In addition to signing copies of SHRIEKS & SHIVERS, Rector will also be signing A FEAST OF FRIGHTS, which features my story, “Clawed Sod”, and her historical horror novel PESTILENCE.

The Sinister Creature Con takes place October 17th and 18th at the Scottish Rite Center, 6151 H Street in Sacramento. Early bird tickets for the two-day event are just $20, or $30 for the VIP pass, which includes early access and a limited edition of the “Creature Girl 2015” print by Gianluca Mattia.

Christian A. Larsen is the author of LOSING TOUCH, featuring a foreword by New York Times bestselling author Piers Anthony, now available in paperback and ebook formats from Post Mortem Press.

The top-6 most unnecessary IMDb parental warnings

Posted in Observations & Musings on September 12, 2015 by Christian

As a father of two and a lover of stories, moving picture and otherwise, I enjoy watching flicks with my family—and not just family movies. But how do you know what’s okay to watch with your kids? It’s a line each parent has to draw, but first you need the facts, and that’s where IMDb.com’s parental guide pages come in.

Users post warnings in five categories: “sex & nudity”, “violence & gore”, “profanity”, “alcohol/drugs/smoking”, and “frightening/intense scenes”—and it has been helpful to me on occasion, but some movies either warn you with their title, or are so well-known that anyone who knows about IMDb.com also knows about the content of these movies.

But … there are still parental warnings. Just in case:

Machete Kills

“Countless severed heads bounce and roll around throughout the film.”

“Countless severed heads bounce and roll around throughout the film.”

If the title or cover art didn’t warn you, the tagline did. I’m guessing that the only people who ever visited the parental warning page for MACHETE KILLS were the IMDb webmaster, users who uploaded obvious content like the caption above, and me.

NOTE: There is not one mention of Sofía Vergara’s machine gun breasts, so that must be okay for the kids.

The Wolf of Wall Street

“Approximately 577 instances of the 'f' word.”

“Approximately 577 instances of the ‘f’ word.”

Okay, this one’s not so obvious, if you didn’t bother finding out anything about the movie other than looking at the poster and assuming it was an animal comedy in the vein of AIR BUD, but with a chimp for some reason despite the title. It’s directed by Martin Scorsese. And he likes the f-word. A lot.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

“A man kills another man with a chainsaw. Some blood.”

“A man kills another man with a chainsaw. Some blood.”

Another movie that warns you with the title not to screen it with kids in the room. Take away ‘the’ and two of the remaining three words are not appropriate for children under any circumstances, and I’m not sure about ‘chainsaw’, either.

Up in Smoke

“This is a stoner movie.”

“This is a stoner movie.”

The full title is CHEECH & CHONG’S UP IN SMOKE. This is a comedy duo that built their entire schtick around smoking. Pot. Remember when everyone was up in arms about the smoking in FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING? Old Gandalf ain’t got nothing on these guys. Or … maybe he does?

Cannibal Holocaust

“The middle finger is flipped towards the camera twice.”

That was the least inappropriate promotional image I could find for this movie, which, like others on this list, warns you with its very title: CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST. Just Googling those two words together lands you on a government watch list. (Hello, Agent Maclin!)

As one user says: “CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST is often considered one of the most controversial, graphic, and disturbing films of all time.” If you pick this to watch with the kids, what’s wrong with you?

Debbie Does Dallas

“This is a hardcore pornographic film about high school girls raising money through prostitution.”

“This is a hardcore pornographic film about high school girls raising money through prostitution.”

Unless you are Louis Gossett, Jr.’s alien character from ENEMY MINE, everything about this movie warns you to keep the kids away, and unless you’ve been in a vegetative state since 1978, you should know it. For shame.

Bonus trivia: Robert Kerman, the guy who plays ‘Mr. Greenfield’ in DEBBIE DOES DALLAS also plays ‘Professor Harold Monroe’ in CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST, so I’m guessing that any kids he might have had didn’t have any idea how dad put food on the table … at least until he played the tugboat captain in SPIDER-MAN (2002).

Wholesome!

Don’t get me wrong. The parental warning pages at IMDb.com are useful for those borderline cases, or for making sure you’re renting WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE instead of WILD THINGS, but c’mon…

Christian A. Larsen is the author of LOSING TOUCH, featuring a foreword by New York Times bestselling author Piers Anthony, now available in paperback and ebook formats from Post Mortem Press.

BLEED, SO IT GOES discounted for Labor Day!

Posted in News on September 5, 2015 by Christian
20% off, Labor Day Weekend only!

20% off, Labor Day Weekend only!

Save 20% this Labor Day Weekend when you buy any Perpetual Motion Machine Publishing book via their webstore when you use the discount code: WORKUNTILYOUDIE. That’s any PMMP novel, collection, or anthology, including BLEED and SO IT GOES: A TRIBUTE TO KURT VONNEGUT.

BLEED features my short story, “The Funeral Portrait”, and each sale benefits the National Children’s Cancer Society and features a monster or threat that represents grave childhood illnesses. Edited by Lori Michelle, BLEED also features stories by Bentley Little, William F. Nolan, Mort Castle, Gene O’Neill, Tim Waggoner, and Benjamin Kane Ethridge.

Use discount code WORKUNTILYOUDIE.

Use discount code WORKUNTILYOUDIE.

Max Booth III collected stories from 22 authors in SO IT GOES: A TRIBUTE TO KURT VONNEGUT, including my own “The Fountain of Relative Youth”. Vonnegut’s legacy of satire, gallows humor, and science-fiction can be found within its pages, with offerings from Jay Wilburn, T. Fox Dunham, James Dorr, Eli Wilde, and many, many others.

So, this Labor Day Weekend, pick up a copy of one or both of these or any other offerings from Perpetual Motion Machine Publishing’s catalog in your choice of paperback or electronic formats when you shop directly from the publisher’s website. Be sure use the discount code: WORKUNTILYOUDIE.

Christian A. Larsen is the author of LOSING TOUCH, featuring a foreword by New York Times bestselling author Piers Anthony, now available in paperback and ebook formats from Post Mortem Press.